Obsession sucks.

Especially when that obsession seemingly acts like you don't even exist.

And when he does acknowledges you, it's only to tell you that he's "busy"...
@$$hole, and yet for some ungodly reason I still love him!
W T F is wrong with me?!
I mean, other than the fact that he was my first friend, and truly the first, and only guy I've ever loved (and he's hot at hell in my person opinion...and other's opinions as well).

But yet, it's impossible between us to be anything more than friends...and I'm fine with that...but it's like we're not even that anymore.

I try, I really do, but I get absolutly no anything from him!!!
I text him on the days he told me he's free, and tried calling him, not obsessive, cause well...that would be a bit much seeing as how we're only "friends" but.

If this is how he treats his friends, I can see why he's single. I mean, he doesn't even TRY to have any contact with me. And there plenty of ways to contact me (email , aim, facebook, myspace, text, cell, and my house is only a 10min drive away from his). I mean, I can understand he might be busy, but a simply text saying "hey" or something, is that really too hard?! Personally I don't think so, as I call my friends from time to time and if they answer simply leave a "hi, just calling to see how your doin'" message. But no.
So listen to this little story about how it all began again.

About...oh...maybe threeish months ago, I skip class, and get my haircut in norwood, my old neighborhood, because I like the way the dude cuts my hair. So after my haircut, I decide to walk around my old neighborhood and see what's what, and such. And I find Tony in his yard and, to be friendly, walk over and say what's up. So we walk around norwood, bs'ing, talking about this and that, and it starts to rain, so we sit on his porch and continue our talking until he has to go pick up his sis from somewhere, and gives me a ride home. Before I get out of the car, he tells me his days off and tells me to call him and we'll get together again sometime. I say great and leave.
The following week, when I am free and it's his off day, I text him and ask him what he's doing next week. He says he's busy. Two weeks pass, and I text him again, asking what he's doing later that week, he says he's going to a concert. Another week passes and I text him "what's up?" and we have a small txt convo and later I text him wanting to know if he wants to do anything later that week, no response. Two weeks pass and I try calling him...and then txt him, and he responds "I'm at the gym" and I ask him if he wants to do soemthing...no response.
About three weeks ago, I attempt to call him, doesn't answer.
And about an hour ago I texted him and haven't gotten a responce yet, and I don't think I'm going to.

Not once has he called me or texted me or anything since I saw him that whatever months ago, unless I bothered him first.

Clearly that friendship is a strong one.
And clearly you can tell that we use to be best friends.
And clearly you can see that I am a damn fool for still having feelings for him.

Why I do...I honestly don't even know anymore.
It's pointless really.
Meaningless.
Obviously he doesn't feel anything for me,
otherwise he would at least ATTEMPT to have SOME kind of relationship with me, anything.
But no.




On another note.
Sorry for being practically non-existent and for not uploading like, anything at all for ever and a half.
I just haven't really been in the mood for writing.